Have you ever found that when you’re trying to get a point across.. it appears that you’re talking in some strange language, even foreign language that no one seems to understand.


I heard a beautiful definition of communication recently:

“All communication is the response you get, not what you think you are actually saying.”

This has really started to open up my eyes and ears..

Many a time I’ve fell into the trap of thinking that some people are just a bit dense when they can’t understand what I’m saying, …they get completely the wrong end of the stick.

But now it’s dawning on me (a light bulb moment) that it’s me that’s a bit dense.. Dense in my own self absorbtion, living in a bubble, blind to what’s in front of me.. not aware or awake to the responses I’m really getting.. Too busy focusing on what I’m saying than being aware of the response I’m getting.. and yes I’ve many a time had that cricket bat wrapped around my head.

How about you.. do you get so absorbed in what you’re saying at times.. absorbed obliviously in what you want and where you want a communication to go.. without being aware of how your words are affecting the person in front of you?

“If you don’t get the response you’re looking for, change the way you’re trying to say it.”

It’s starting to become clearer to me as I bear this in mind that it’s not the other persons responsibility to figure it out, it’s up to me to modify what I’m trying to say to fit the person I’m saying it to.

Ask the question, “what is it like to be in their shoes.. not yours..”

For me it would be damn crippling if they wear a size 5..

Try it for a laugh, I’m finding it’s making communicating much more fun and interesting..

But every now and then, when I miss the mark I’m learning to duck just that bit quicker.. 🙂

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1 Comment

  1. Hi Darren – I write far too much when I write and I do write stuff in a gobbledeegooky way sometimes but there are certain things I want to say and I know there’s a very specialised audience I want to reach, eventually. I don’t get many comments on my blog yet but it doesn’t bother me.

    Right now I’m writing selfishly on my blog with a view of ‘getting it out of me’ rather than ‘getting it into others’ if you know what I mean? Later on I’ll write more for ‘the audience’- but maybe not.

    I enjoyed the video and the post. I will now drop something on a desktop and say ‘my name is …’

    Cricket bat round head time.



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